Tenebrescence
by LBx
Summary: Do light and dark really matter, or is it simply what feels right and what feels wrong? SBRL


**Tenebrescence**

**_"Look at the stars,  
Look how they shine for you,  
And all the things that you do."  
-Coldplay, Yellow_**  
  
Sirius Black had never once worried about exams, and he wasn't going to start now. Studying was for someone like Remus, who spent long hours hidden in the Hogwarts' library come June. Sirius had never crammed, either; that was best left to Peter who panicked the night before an exam and begged Remus to lend his notes. No, studying and cramming did not become Sirius Black. He retained what he had learned during the year -all of it making much more sense when Remus explained it- and so come June, Sirius would summon James and they would plot their year-end pranks.  
  
That's how it had been for four years. And now James was throwing four years of tradition away because Lily Evans had grudgingly agreed to help him study for Charms.  
  
So Sirius had trekked down to the library and convinced Remus to move his studying outside, because it was such a fine night and one shouldn't spend it lost amongst centuries of magical literature.  
  
The azure sky was slowly turning scarlet, the mountains around the castle jagged black turrets against the bright backdrop. Remus was leaning against the ancient willow by the lake, one pale hand raking through his gold-streaked hair as he poured over a potions textbook. There was a scroll on the ground beside him, held in place against the evening breeze by a smooth ebony stone. A long trace of black ink ran down the werewolf's left cheek, smudged when Remus ran a hand over said cheek in thoughtful concentration.  
  
Sirius had long since given up reading **_'So Now You're An Animagus'_** to watch his friend study. Remus, while dedicated to work by nature, thoroughly believed he needed high marks not only to remain at Hogwarts, but also to prove to the Ministry how diligent and productive werewolves can be.  
  
"_Dark creatures_," he had once explained to Sirius, when they sat huddled in the astronomy tower pouring over star charts, "_are not allowed to work. We're a danger to society, too unpredictable, and besides, the common wizard hates us_."  
  
It disturbed Sirius how easily Remus accepted that he was despised by people he'd never met; certainly Remus didn't truly believe he was dark and evil inside. When he had voiced this thought aloud, Remus had let out a slightly bitter laugh, leaning back so his head brushed ancient stone and his face was tilted to the starry heavens. The moonlight had splashed across his pale skin, accenting every scar and dip in the smooth features, and he had looked beautiful, like an angel fallen from heaven and turned bitter by years of cruelty.  
  
"_Of course you wouldn't think so_," Remus had gasped between sharp laughs, cocking his head so his hazel eyes rested on Sirius.  
  
Sirius blinked slowly, senses numb as if he was waking from a long sleep. His mind scrambled to remember what he had said, but it was so hard, with Remus looking at him and laughing softly, and _what had he said?_  
  
Luckily, Remus explained to Sirius the topic of the conversation; he was helpful even when he didn't mean to be.  
  
"_I am dark, tainted from the blood of the wolf which consumes my body every full moon. But you, Sirius, you are light_." There was a desperate longing in Remus' eyes as he spoke those words -a hunger for the innocence which seemed to plague his friend. Sirius had inched closer to Remus then, grey eyes silently speaking of confusion and disbelief. Thankfully, Remus had stopped laughing, and his lips made a thin smile as Sirius lay a hand on his shoulder. "_You're destined to shine, Sirius. Everyone will know your name, not because you need attention, but because people are drawn to you._" Remus' voice had lowered as he spoke, until Sirius had to strain to hear. His hand tightened on Remus' shoulder, creating a spider web of wrinkles in the material of his black cloak.  
  
"_And you?_" Sirius had whispered, a clumsy hand reaching out to cup Remus' moonlit cheek.  
  
Remus hummed lightly under his touch, thick lashes gracing milky white skin as he shut his eyes. "_And I'll be your silent shadow, if that's what you want_."  
  
"_Yes_," Sirius had begged, half-consciously, too occupied with how warm and alive Remus was, and how hot his breath was as it danced across Sirius' cheek.  
  
Now the moonlight was gone, no longer clouding his thoughts as he watched Remus in the fading sun, but still his thoughts became jumbled so that he was rendered a silent observer. Only, Remus had lifted his gaze and was now watching Sirius just as intently; he looked younger now that the stress of the last full moon had worn off, his eyes clear and luminous instead of dull and defeated.  
  
Sirius set down **_'So Now You're An Animagus'_** and crawled toward Remus, ignoring the dirt which clung to his sweaty palms -when had he become so nervous?  
  
Just like the night in the astronomy tower, Sirius reached out and cupped Remus' cheek, one finger running over the length of the ink smudge. "I wish, " Sirius started slowly, finding the curve of Remus' nose fascinating all of a sudden, "That I could give you what you want."  
  
"And what do you think I want?" Remus' voice was always controlled, his words always precise and well chosen.  
  
Sirius pressed their foreheads together.  
  
"The moon - the full moon. Freedom from the darkness you claim to posses. Anything. Everything."  
  
Steady hands took hold of Sirius' shaking ones, pulling them from Remus' face so that fingers could twine together. Suddenly Sirius was no longer starring at Remus' nose, but the bark of the willow, which was battered and worn but strong nonetheless, like Remus.  
  
When Remus spoke, his lips brushed against Sirius' cheek, spilling from them the secret of life and all that was good. "All I want are the stars. One star: Sirius." Grey eyes refocused this time on Remus' own brown ones, which tugged at Sirius with a force stronger than any magnetic force known to Muggles. "Can I want that? Can you give me that?"  
  
Sirius smiled, slow and lazy, drunk on the pull of Remus' eyes.  
  
"Yes, and yes."  
  
When Remus laughed, it was light and happy, and his eyes took on a brighter shade so that they radiated in the increasing darkness.  
  
And when Sirius felt Remus' lips against his own, light and dark no longer mattered.


End file.
